Metabolism - That S.O.B

People always talk about metabolism but it seems that very few people know anything more about it except that its either fast or slow.  My metabolism, of course, seems to have always moved at a decremental pace.  So I thought I would put together this quick yet informative overview of Metabo facts!  Enjoy!!!!

WHAT IS IT??

• The rate at which we burn the calories we consume
• Why people can eat like ass and still be skinny
• Why I can watch every calorie and lose .5 lbs in 3 weeks!

HOW TO REV IT UP??

• Any amount of movement (get your ass up)
• Increase in body temperature increases metabolism by 14% (stinky hot sweat box yoga for example, otherwise known as Bikram)
• Eating protein (this is also a huge way of decreasing water retention, that and drinking copious amounts of water!)
• Adequate sleep  
• Eat all day (letting your body get hungry means it will hold EVERYTHING you put in once you do eat)

HOW TO SCREW IT UP??

• Fasting for over 12 hours decreases your metabolic rate by 40% (thinking of fasting to lose weight...no way)
• Some part of metabolism is genetic
• Not exercising

HOW TO KICK IT'S ASS??

• Exercising in the morning will kick start your metabolism into burn mode
• Coffee (in small amounts) is also really good for your metabo
• Water- Start the day with a huge glass and drink at least 2L throughout
• Green Tea-metabolism, anti-cancer, weight management, mood enhancement, ect- cant say enough about the stuff
• Soup- Start with soup as an appetizer and you will certainly get full faster and eat less
• Grapefruit- you already know about this
• Apples- Keep the doctor away AND they help release water retention
• Hot peppers- Hot spices in general curb your appetite and make you feel full. Here is why- Capsaicin (a chemical found in jalapeno and cayenne peppers) temporarily stimulates your body to release more stress hormones, which speeds up your metabolism and causes you to burn more calories. 

How Barbie and Disney Ruins Lives

Looking back, Disney and Barbie sold us images of ridiculously skinny, busty, no waist, long hair having princesses and dolls starting from such an early age.  I remember how obsessed I was with Barbies and their figures and hair.  "The perfect body".  And Disney??? Please!  Dont get me started.  Disney creates the most distorted views of love in the minds of little girls everywhere.  Pushing the idea that "some day my prince will come"..my ass.  Disney forgot to mention that he was going to be a cheater, quite possibly with no education and wearing gold fronts.  Or that as a black princess with degrees and social status, my prince pool would be shallow as hell.  Where the hell is Princess Harvard or Princess Plus Size?  There was no How To book that told us that Prince Charming could also be Prince Asshole, Emperor Inconsiderate, or King Whoresalot.  They should have let us see what Aladdin was doing on the side or when he left his socks and drawers all over the damn house.  Yea Disney and Barbie, I have a few bones to pick with you... A whole skeletons worth.  

Luckily, my prince did come- Prince Perfectforme.

I found this picture on line that I thought was excellent.  This is the difference that Barbie's body took on in the early 2000's.  Notice the smaller waist and the bikini looking ass.  And how many girls actually look like that. Hmmm I can answer that question... NONE !

Exhibit A- REAL life- size Barbie.This young lady had an eating disorder and decided it was time to take another look at some things... like Barbie.  Using the dimensions of an actual doll, she scaled them up to the proportions of a real person and this is what she came up with.  Taking the actual scaled dimensions (mathematically) into consideration,:

"If Barbie were an actual women, she would be 5'9" tall, have a 39" bust, an 18" waist, 33" hips and a size 3 shoe".  Get the F*** out of here !!!

W...T....F

She looks dumb as hell! Hahahahahahahahah!  This really cracks me up!  

Ok, now for the point we all know and love... Let's bring it on home Shay...

The view of beauty has been and continues to be distorted by all of the people in power to do so. 

But...  Let's be honest.  Only fat people really complain about it. HAHAHA!!  Ok, ok, ok... fat people and people that love fat people.  While I do not consider myself a fat girl anymore, I definitely don't consider myself skinny either.  The truth of the matter is, the media DOES control the perception of the majority of the world.  Like it or not.  You either fit the mold or you don't.  And I myself know that I have fallen victim to the majority if for no other reason than the fact that I didn't lose weight to be healthy, I did it to be fly.  Judge me if you choose.  Health was the last thing on my mind.  I was always healthy.  

So do I have self image issues because of the world we live in?? Sure as hell do.  But so does everyone else.  There are some skinny bitches walking around wishing they could gain a few pounds.  My neighbor wants bigger boobs.  My best friend wants a bigger ass.  My white friend wants a smaller ass.  My male friend wants a bigger penis.  We are all products of our environment and I'm sorry but "thin is in".  I applaud everyone who tries to show that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes because I agree.  At the end of the day its all about your own personal perception.  I'm glad making this model helped this young lady get over her eating disorder.  But we don't want Barbie walking around looking like this do we.  

In case you are curious...Barbie facts for you reading pleasure (or disgust in my case)

• There are two Barbie dolls sold every second in the world.
• The target market for Barbie doll sales is young girls ages 3-12 years of age.
• A girl usually has her first Barbie by age 3, and collects a total of seven dolls during her childhood.
• Over a billion dollars worth of Barbie dolls and accessories were sold in 1993, making this doll big business and one of the top 10 toys sold.
• If Barbie were an actual women, she would be 5'9" tall, have a 39" bust, an 18" waist, 33" hips and a size 3 shoe.
• Barbie calls this a "full figure" and likes her weight at 110 lbs.
• At 5'9" tall and weighing 110 lbs, Barbie would have a BMI of 16.24 and fit the weight criteria for anorexia. She likely would not menstruate.
• If Barbie was a real woman, she'd have to walk on all fours due to her proportions.
• Slumber Party Barbie was introduced in 1965 and came with a bathroom scale permanently set at 110 lbs with a book entitled "How to Lose Weight" with directions inside stating simply "Don't eat."--- (WTF)

What's going on- Vlog

Thought I would do a video blog this week!  Enjoy!

Not really a fan of this photo they chose though lol!!  Shame on you youtube!

What do you think of the coat by the way?!

Good one?

STRAWBERRY BANANA OATMEAL (Gluten free)

Well as you can tell from my temporary hiatus from the blogosphere, I am officially back home.  So you will have to live through some ooey gooey details of my return to the Honeypie before the delicious oatmeal goodness.  

The flight was as decent as one could expect when flying internationally.  I was questioned just a bit by an immigration officer and it was VERY uncomfortable, but it was all worth while when I saw my love standing there holding this sign...

please take particular notice of the wicked witch on the broom

To say that I was smitten is an understatement.  I was so excited to see his face that I kissed it before I even finished reading the sign.  Ahhhh the wonders of love.  We spent the rest of the week doing absolutely nothing...well not nothing lol. It was such a wonderful week that I was quite distraught when he had to go back to work on Tuesday.  We did manage to go out once during our week of solitude- we went to see Abduction and for some lovely din din in Bury.  I got to get snazzy.  

And I was able to debut a certain pair of my shoeseys that I adore.

Don't you love...you know you do

 All in all, it feels great to be home in my casa.  We are planning on decorating some more this weekend and having our first play date with another couple tonight.  Gonna have a Star Wars marathon filled with alcohol!!! Its great to be in love with someone as geeky as I am.

And now to what you have been waiting for.

STRAWBERRY BANANA OATMEAL GF

The Skinny-

Going gluten free hasn't been quite as hard as I thought it was going to be.  I have been on everyone's website and read all about what I can do to maintain my normal way of life (if you can call my dieting life normal) and I don't think it will be that difficult.  I am happy to say that the store on base has a great selection of gluten free flour, cereals, and breakfast bars so it definitely makes it easy.

One of my favorite ways to start my day is with a heaping bowl of oatmeal.  Now I, like so many other fatties from the hood, grew up on those Instant Quaker Oatmeal packets (with maple brown sugar being my favorite) and they are full of sugar.  No bueno mamas and papas, no bueno.  So I made the switch to rolled oats a while back and have been quite pleased once I'd finished doctoring them up.

Here is my go-to, no frills, pretty easy, run of the mill, everyday, oatmeal recipe (ran out of ways to describe it) in its Gluten Free form.  This recipe is one of many that I tried after the switch from instant packets.  One thing you should know is that raisins are always a staple in my oatmeal- they are always included!  Without further adieu...

INGREDIENTS:

1 cup almond milk (you can use water or regular milk as well)
1/2 gluten free oats (or regular rolled oats)
1 box of raisins
1 pat of butter
3 strawberries
1/2 large banana
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp splenda or truvia
Cinnamon to taste
sprinkle of nutmeg
Hazelnut coffee (not for the oatmeal, but for my survival!)

The goods

 Bring milk to a boil in a small sauce pan.  Turn down to low and add oats, cinnamon, raisins, sugar, butter, vanilla, and nutmeg.  Stir well and let simmer for 3 minutes.

 There are two ways to make this oatmeal.  You can add the bananas and the strawberries and it all simmer for another 5-10 minutes.  This is my preferred way because the fruit is nice and warm and the sugary flavor can permeate all the way through.

You can also add the fruit on top when you finished letting it simmer as I did in the pic below.  I was starving on this day and i wanted to fruit to cool down the oatmeal so I could go to work!

And breakfast is served.  A prime way to make something simple into something delic!  Serve with coffee lol!

What's your favorite kind of oatmeal?